Confessions of a Nigerian Skinny Girl: I do not need your rude comments.

This one is for my skinny sisters.

“You’re this thin, yet you’re not beautiful? You’d better not add weight.”

That unsolicited advice from my former classmate never left my head. Her words messed me up badly. That was 2017, my first year as a high school Senior.

 “You’d better not add weight.”

Her words followed me everywhere. I started to have this intense fear of gaining weight. I thought I could control my weight and shape. And to some extent, I did.

I resumed at my boarding school, a healthy young girl. I left with an eating disorder no one knew about.

I hid it well from my friends and classmates so that no one noticed my frequent skipping of meals, refusal to eat, and denial of hunger.

After all, I was that girl who was always seen consuming junk or talking about food. But was I really eating?

Yup, you guessed right: I wasn’t.

Every school break and holiday had my mum complaining about my extreme weight loss, but she attributed it to the school meals.
Little did she know…

Looking back now, I can’t help but cringe at the idea of me inducing vomiting and frequently measuring my weight.

I wanted no fat. I wanted no weight. I wanted thin me, with no addition nor loss.

I couldn’t bear being described as ugly. If starving myself would make me beautiful, then fine, I’m gonna starve myself.

But that definitely wasn’t the end or beginning of it all.

Spending the whole of 2021 at home was a big nightmare for me and when the comments like “You’re adding weight already”,”Your cheeks are getting bigger”, started coming in, I knew I was already slacking off.

My fear kicked in, and the cycle started all over again.

I would make excuses for not eating, deny hunger, skip meals and even lie about how much food I’d eaten.

This eating disorder turned me into a compulsive liar. I just couldn’t help it. All I was concerned about was not adding weight and hiding it from my family.

And boy! did I do a perfect job at hiding it.

My big brother was the first to notice my extreme weight loss. He would comment on my fatigue, large intake of water, and insomnia,

But trust me to go all- defensive. The very first day he mentioned the chance of me having an eating disorder, I refused to agree.

“I do not have an eating disorder. I’m just watching my weight, right? I definitely don’t have an eating disorder.”

I refused to accept my obsession with my weight.

My sister-in-law also joined in on the campaign.

“Are you starving yourself?” She would ask over and over again. My response was always “No.”

Funnily enough, despite all their mentions of extreme weight loss, all I kept seeing, every time I checked myself in the mirror for flaws, was fat.

Lots of fat.

Then the effects start showing.

I couldn’t tolerate cold, I was always tired –even without doing anything, stopped seeing my period, was always anxious, and oh! the mood swings and disorders.

I became so thin that I hated that same frame I was obsessed with maintaining.

My family had to step in. The recovery process is another story entirely ’cause I’m still recovering. 

Now, I’ve gained a better sense of who I am and I’m slowly returning to healthier eating habits. I love my shape now. I love me – the beautiful me.

Whether thin or fat, who cares?

I’m so glad my self-esteem finally left the basement. And I really wished I never let the words of an insecure 14 year old girl get to me. 

But it’s all in the past.

All I breathe now is fresh air. 

Our society will never stop body-shaming, but I can choose to respond positively to it, yeah?


While people often associate body shaming with people on the big side, skinny shaming can be equally harmful to a person’s well-being.

This is not to equate thin-shaming with fat-shaming. Body shaming in any form is unwarranted, but it is important to acknowledge that thin people still hold an advantage as our society glorifies thinness.

I’ve been a skinny girl all my life but I’ve still had to battle with insecurities since forever. I’ve stored a lot of anger inside me against my family, relatives, friends, and strangers who contributed to my insecurities and low self-confidence.

I’m tired of your many insensitive questions. 

You don’t need to ask if I’m dieting. I’m not! My body type should not make you make silly conclusions.
You don’t need to tell me to eat something. My Mama’s meals are delicious and I eat them three times a day.

Thank you for caring so much about my health!

You don’t need to tell me what to wear and what not to. I can’t pull off all outfits and nobody else can, for goodness’s sake!

Sometimes I hate how dresses hang on my thin frame. Sometimes I hate how shortchanged I was in the chest department. So I don’t need your advice to fuel my insecurities ok?

You don’t need to tell me why I need more curves on my body. I don’t need them! You only want them on me because I do not fit your standards or measurements of beauty.

And if you’re not comfortable with what you see, then you may need to take your eyes off me and fix them on someone else, got that?

You don’t need to call me names. I already have one – a real name, and you know it so use it!

I do not need your unsolicited advice; Keep ’em for no one else.

In fact, scratch that…chew and swallow your advice!

I’m still learning to love myself in my thin frame.
My best friend is still taking my unaware pictures to show me how beautiful I am.

I’m still learning how to wear my collarbone with pride. I’m still learning to view my beauty from God’s view.

I’m still learning confidence from the words of Psalm 139:14. But till I completely learn, do not make me feel insecure by passing rude comments about what I can’t control.

I fit curse pesin.

Okay, I won’t.

But, don’t provoke me to!


This post is dedicated to MB Banks. I shared this with him some months back and he helped pull my words together. Thank you for listening. Thank you for letting me know that my weight is not a burden. Thank you for making me realize that I am a beautiful ball of magic and fire. Thank you. Really.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

Did you enjoy reading this?

If yes, leave a like, give me a follow, and let me know what your thoughts on body-shaming are in the comments.

I’ll see you whenever.

Till then, stay beautiful!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.

2021: Grateful!

PC: Google.

It’s been a year!

2021 has been that year!

I’m grateful to be here today. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. And if you’re reading this, I believe you are good and grateful as well.

“You hold it all together, in my hands it fall apart, but You hold it all together. In my hands, I fall apart, but You hold it all together.” This song has been on repeat on my heart stereo for the past two days. If I would sum up this year, it’ll be with this song “You Hold it all Together” by Maverick city and Upper room. Cause truly, God held it all together for me this year.

A lot to say, fam, but I’m a girl of few words. All in all, thank you for showing up, thank you for being a part of my 2021. I’m truly grateful to y’all.

I’m grateful for the gift of family, friendship and love. I have no words to describe how I feel, but again, God understands. I’ve truly being blessed from all sides; those little miracles can’t be quantified.

2022 would be amazing, guys. See it before you see it. Believe it. Enjoy every day with your loved ones. Make each moment count. Make God count. Choose life always.

God bless!❤️

Thank me for the happiest year of my life.❤️ Thank you for being you! Salud mi familia.🥂

The Sunshine Blogger Award.

Some months into blogging, and I got nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I must say, this nomination is a huge honor for me, as it makes me really proud of my work. Penjiri is an amazing blogger whose blog and contents scream creativity. She blogs in a quite reflective manner. I appreciate good contents, and hers over time has genuinely peaked my interest. What more? She’s a teenager just like me! A big thank you to my dear blogger friend, Penjiri. I truly appreciate you nominating my blog for this award.

What is the Sunshine Blogger Award? For my non-blogger readers, the award is a peer recognition of the inspiring, creative and motivational work done by bloggers. It is given by bloggers to bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging community. By accepting the award nomination, there are certain rules to be followed:


  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 new bloggers to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog.

Penjiri’s questions:

1. What would be your perfect day?

My idea of a perfect day is nothing short of staying at home doing all the things I love: Listening to calm music, reading a great book, watching movies, randomly observing things, writing, and spending time with my mum. Nothing is more comforting to my soul than the little things.

2. What’s your favourite thing you own and why?

My glasses. Cause, why not? I’m a blind bat without them.

3. What did you dream about last night?

I’m not much of a dreamer. But for someone I thought of last night; My dad. I miss him everyday. But what’s the sun without a little rain, right?

4. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

  • Three more wishes. (I’m a girl with many demands.😅)
  • Clarity.
  • A long, relatively stress-free life for my friends, family and I.

5. If you had to live in another period, what would you choose?

Definitely back to the ’80s. The music is the bet for me.

6. What foreign language(s) would you want to master and why?

Spanish. I love eet!

7. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Constantly putting myself down and being fearful of people’s judgment. For just once in my life, I want to be happy with who I am and what I do, with no fear of the unknown or any suffocating feeling. I’m my worst critic, and it’s about time that change happen.

8. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

A lot, but I will sum it up to being loved.

9. If you had to describe yourself in only three words, what would you choose?

Ambitious, bright and realistic.

10. What words do you think your friends would choose to describe you?

Honestly, I wouldn’t know. But I won’t mind knowing though, if I have friends reading this.

11. Which is your favourite movie of all time?

I’m a big filmophile. I watch movies a lot. Guess I’m indecisive on a favourite.

My questions:

1. What is the story behind your blog?

2. What is your favourite book?

3. What do you love most about your blog?

4. Are you a morning person?

5. What other things interest you apart from blogging?

6. What makes your heart weep?

7. What is something you wish more people knew about bloggers?

8. Calm and serene music or loud music?

9. What things are you most grateful for in your life?

10. What is your favourite childhood memory?

11. How do you picture the future?

My Nominees:

1. Figuring things out with Eliza.

2. Blessed Oluwatofunmi’s blog

3. Jay’s Chronicles

4. wellbeing spotlight

5. My Serene Words

6. Pat Fitzgerald

7. Girl With A Blog

8. Temilolainspirationbank


10. Lose Weight with Ang

11. Words of Mayor

Thank you once again, Penjiri for nominating me.💖✨

Thanks for reading through. I appreciate.❤️

100 – Thank you!


Hey peeps!

You saw the title right?!! We made it to 100! I’m so happy and really grateful, guys.

Hagne says; “Thank you for the love shown over time. The evaluative, appreciative, instructive and constructive comments from y’all means a lot. Your support equals the success of this page. And for staying true, thanks a 100. God bless!”

You all matter, everyone of you.💖

P.S: A special thanks to Cara – my no. 1 support system. I love you, girlllll.❤️✨

Stay blessed, dear friends!💖🤗

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God!

Purge me not!

Being a mess sucks
Growing up in a messed up family sucks
Living a messed up life in a messed up world sucks.

Saved of a truth, but still lost
Cleansed of a truth, but still a mess
Like a lovely perfume, my scent should be
But no, a foul odour I give out.

Purge me not, I'm not worthy
Use me not, I'm not worthy
I'm stuck please, I'm not worthy.

"Do you wanna be used?"
"I'm a mess."
"Would you rather not be used?"
"Is the choice up to me?"

To you, your past seems irredeemable, He says
Remember, I dwelled there as well
And while you were holding on,
All I did was let go.

"Have you heard about my Jesus?"
Her voice rang out loud now.
All the rumors I heard about Him
I found them all to be true.

His blood is still potent
Never to lose its power
It still speak today
Salvation for you and me.
My forever friend❤️

“Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Isaiah 1:18 AMPC.

We have a forever friend in Christ Jesus who is ever ready to get us through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. He’s not one to turn and walk away when you lose your way, rather He will guide and cheer you on. And when you’re down and depressed, when the world seems dark and empty, He will lift your spirit and make the dark and empty world seem bright and full. Forever has no end, and our forever friend reigns forever. What more can one ask for!❤️

I am Oluwaferanmi

And you are loved by God.❤️


“There we saw the Nephilim, and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.” Numbers 13:33(Amplified).

“I am Blessed, Prosperous, Redeemed, Forgiven, Talented, Creative, Confident, Secure, Disciplined, Focused, Prepared, Qualified, Motivated, Valuable, Free, Determined, Equipped, Empowered, Anointed, Accepted and Approved. Not average, not mediocre, I am a child of the Most High God.” – Joel Osteen.

Seeing people limit themselves do make me angry sometimes. I see the potential in people, but they don’t do anything about it. They settle for mediocrity, and they believe they can’t do better. Maybe they’ve picked up a few ideas while growing up, and now those ideas are holding them back.

Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve had my fair share of low self-esteem, lack of confidence, self-doubt and fear. The change in me began when my language changed. My confessions became positive, my mindset got changed. Ever heard of the mirror therapy? That worked too. And no, it wasn’t just a change that happened overnight. It was gradual, and I’m still getting better. I’m learning to make peace with myself, with my body, with my abilities, and my potentials.

Now, I’m not perfect. I get stuck just like anyone else. Negativity still do cloud my little mind, I do have my dose of fear, reality still surface in the face of positivity. But I’m trying to hold fast to positive confessions. I’m not talking about forceful improvement, but declaring divine promises and confessions over my life with the help of the Holy Spirit.

“We were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.” A simple fact off this; “You are what you see. You are what you confess.” What you confess is what you reflect, and that’s the platform on which people’s judgement of you will be built.

What is your hashtag?

What do you think of you?

What are your confessions about all that pattern to you?

Are your words a product of fear? Of what had been wired into you from birth? Of what the world present to you that seem to be fickle? Or of what people say or think about you?

Well, goodnews. You can change your words. You have a choice as about the confessions you make on your life. And you are your choice.

Today and till forever, I choose to say;

I am whole, enough and worthy.

I am unlimited and unstoppable.

I’m never selling myself short.

My becoming is near.

My season of bloom is here.

My life experience no stagnancy.

I’m moving forward.

I’m pressing on to higher ground.

There is a seed of greatness in me.

I experience surpassing greatness from now henceforth.

I want no fading glory,

But a lasting and impactful one.

I am of the Lord,

His grace abounds for me.

The whole world is waiting for me.

I’m about to take over.

I’m declaring these over my life, will you join in? The tongue has power, and it’s about time we make use of our authority as God’s children.

From my heart to yours,

Thrive, prosper and flourish.


For I Know

Have you ever feared that God’s designs are all against you?

Most people had, at a point in life.

We’ve all faced difficult situations, had unpalatable experiences, met disappointments, and lots more.

Yet it is helpful to always remember that God has a plan for our lives and this verse is just such a reminder.

“For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you; says the LORD, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

And while that Scripture promises comfort and hope, it is necessarily not a promise to immediately rescue us from hardship, but rather a promise that God has a plan for our lives and regardless of our present situation, He can work through it to prosper us, and bring us to the end He has promised.

Are you facing a difficult situation?

Take comfort in the words of Jeremiah 29:11.

And while you do so, remember that there is an element of obedience to this promise. There’s the need to wait on the Lord, to trust in Him and follow Him.

“We often do not know our own minds, but the Lord is never at an uncertainty. We are sometimes ready to fear that God’s designs are all against us; but as to His own people, even that which seems evil, is for good. He will give them, not the expectations of their fancies, but the expectations of their faith; the end he has promised, which will be the best for them.”

Bible Commentary (Jeremiah 29:11).

I’ve had one life changing experience in my life – the death of a loved one. It wasn’t fair to me having my dad ripped away from me at age nine. Years went by before I very much got used to the idea of having just a parent. Not until I really got to understand this verse of the Scripture.

We often do not know our own minds, but the Lord is never at an uncertainty. We are sometimes ready to fear that God’s designs are all against us; but as to His own people, even that which seems evil, is for good. He will give them, not the expectations of their fears, or the expectations of their fancies, but the expectations of their faith; the end He has promised, which will be the best for them.

“I don’t know much. But this much I do. God is up to something. He is up to something good. He is up to something amazing.”

Bailee Madison.(A Week Away).

We only have to hold on to His promise, with the belief that He is up to something good, even when we can’t see it.

Whatever it may be – failure, disappointment, death of a loved one, changing friendship, losing a job, being stuck on one point, financial crisis… Always remember His word, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

With faith, we embrace the future that God has prepared for us.

Thanks for stopping by and reading this post to the end. I appreciate you.💖

If you are blessed or the least enjoy this post, kindly share. Thank you.

And in everything…

Keep hoping…

Keep trusting…

Cause God is up to something good.

God bless.❣️

Dear Diary… I Died!

Dear diary,
I stayed up late last night
Lost in my endless thoughts
And my heart bled
My tears flowed for the sorrows of the multitude
For those dying in solitude
And I died, dear diary.

"How are you?"
"I'm fine."
That's our normal.
But my heart bled,
For the unsaid:
"Confused, Betrayed, Useless, Broken..."
"Never good enough, Fragile, Anxious..."
"I'm falling apart and you don't notice it."
"Pathetic, Annoying, Rejected, Lonely, Defeated."
And so,
Dear diary, I died.

For the "We don't know where we're going"
"We don't know where we belong"
"I'm not okay and I can't fix it"
"I can't take anything anymore,I give up."
I couldn't help it,
I died again, dear diary.

For those who can't stop being so angry,
Who can't stop being so sad,
Who can't stop killing themselves,
Who can't love themselves,
Who can't love everyone around them,
Who are wasting away being unhappy over trivial things,
I died, dear diary.

For the pretty but fake,
Living but dying,
Skinny but hungry,
Smiling but depressed,
That made my heart weep,
And I died, dear diary.

For the timid body,
For the unmotivated mind,
For the broken-hearted,
For the yearning hearts,
For the discouraged,
For the despised,
For the unsatisfied,
Still left with a lingering hunger.
For the wandering strangers,
I wept,
And I died, dear diary.

I pray thee, tell me
What's to be done, dear diary?

In My Distress.

Weak,down and depressed,
Pressed and crushed,
Clueless and faint,
What shall I do?
Where shall I go?

Who shall I meet?
What shall I say?
Is my hope my real hope?
Or am I hoping on vanity,
Searching deep for answers but still blank?

Time and tide waits for no one they told me,
Am I wasting my time or is my time wasting me away?
Should I cry or wail?
Will my tears make me hale?

I shan't cry nor wail,but pray.
I'll hope and look unto the God of Creations,
Cause He wishes the best for me,His creation.
My hope is in Him,
My mind is stayed on Him.

#Imperfect child of a perfect Father.


You do know that I appreciate you and value your thoughts, yeah? Please read, like and leave a comment. Thank you.❣️

Poem credit: #Pheebzs– … Do appreciate my friend, she penned down those words.😊 Thank you, Bex♥️.

Whatever you do, keep going.

Stay blessed!


For You.

I never knew I was lost,
I never knew I was empty,
I never knew I was broken,
Until I met you.

You found me,
And my life made all the sense.
You came in,
And there was a beautiful change.

This is for you,my beloved...
Thanks for existing,
Thanks for finding me,
Thanks for giving me life.

With love,