Category: Contents

Trust God through the storm.

Agnes8 Comments

“This is just an ambivalent chapter in my life. I will get through it. I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I will.”

I don’t know when exactly I started giving myself this pep talk – or why. It just sort of formed. I wake up every morning, and I tell myself that, and it slowly morphed into a mantra. 

I felt the need to remind myself of the temporariness of a day, to reassure myself that I got through yesterday; I’ll get through today.

I was panicking. That was why. Fearful and scared without reason. My thoughts spiralled out of control. 

This attitude was a downer that was making my life miserable. Every day felt like “blue Monday.”

I wanted it to go.

I was telling a friend this recently and she laughed and said, “I know – this is where you are going to use the 139th Psalm.”

She was so right. It just has to be my favorite portion of Scripture. Let me share the first ten verses with you.

“LORD, you have examined me and you know me. You know everything I do; from far away you understand all my thoughts.

You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions.

Even before I speak, you already know what I will say.

You are all around me on every side; you protect me with your power.

Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding.

Where could I go to escape from you?

If I went up to heaven, you would be there; if I lay down in the world of the dead, you would be there.

Where could I get away from your presence?

If I flew away beyond the east or lived in the farthest place in the west, you would be there to lead me, you would be there to help me.”  GNT.

Read it again, and again, until it sinks in. Think about it. 

God knows everything about you. What you do, think, or say – and all before it even happens.

He is acquainted with you – completely! He goes before you and He follows from behind.

You are surrounded by His love and care. And He has laid His hand upon you. Wherever you are, He is there.

You know that God loves you, but do you realize that He also likes you? Just the way you are. Knowing everything about you, your failures, your doubts, fears, and heartaches.

He still likes you – and me. 

See, here’s the thing: No matter how slight– or serious– our problem is, it can be handled best without panic.

While reading the Gospel of Mark one day, I discovered a beautiful parallel between the disciples of Jesus and us. Jesus had been teaching the multitude beside the sea.

When evening came, He instructed His disciples to take the boat to the other side. Here is the account of their “stormy trip” as recorded in Mark 4:37-40.

It is so easy when the storms of life engulf you with loneliness and doubt, to wonder if the Lord is even aware that you hurt.

Perhaps you cry out, much as the disciples did, “Don’t you even care that I’m lonely and afraid?”

And even as you turn to Him, He replies, “Yes, I care.”

Then, He will whisper, “Peace, be still.” to the winds that toss you to and fro.

He is there, in your struggle to find yourself and to cope with each new problem.

Not only does the Lord know when we are about to panic because of some unusual circumstance but, He also understands. He understands because of that day in the boat with His disciples.

He knows the weakness of our humanity and stands ready to meet our every need.

It’s like what Pastor Todd said, “The storm has an expiration hour. You can still worship in the storm. Trust God, through the storm.”

But for now, remember that no matter how stormy your life seems, or how prone you are to panic, the Lord understands and is just waiting to say “Peace, be still.”

And just this morning, I once again opened my Bible to the 143rd Psalm. David always seems to say what is on my heart better than I can, so I made verses 7 and 8 my prayer for the day.

“Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit faileth.

Hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust.

Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.” KJV.

Whatever it is you may be going through, whatever your problem may be, don’t panic.

Instead, ask the Lord to help you “know the way wherein (you) should walk.”

He loves you and He is ever with you.
 

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God❤.

Edited by Daniela Obike.

This post is dedicated to my sister, Priscilla; my best girl, Phoebe-Deborah, and my friend, Daniela. Thank you so much. I love you. Really.❤

Song recommendation: “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns / Natalie Grant.

If you haven’t already, check out my recent posts:

6 Ways to Overcome Lack of Motivation.

Agnes24 Comments

Everyone struggles with motivation issues at one point or the other. Whether you are having a hard time finding the motivation to do your laundry or work on a business pitch.

Thing is, we all get into slumps.

It is how we choose to deal with it that matters, however.

In this article are 6 ways to help you get back on track.

Now let’s get to the gist of it.

1. Remind yourself why you started.

Whenever you find yourself lacking the motivation to do a task, the best trick is to remind yourself why you started or why you want to start. 

 It’s quite simple.

Just honestly fill in these gaps:

– I want to do this job because…

 – I started doing this because…

Did you find a reason? Yeah! That’s enough motivation to keep going.

Pause!

Go back and fill those gaps to find your ‘why’ before reading the next one.

Done?

Good. 

The next one:

2. Manage your to-do list.

I’ve always been honest with you, so as now. 

To-do lists are good; they keep you on track. But having a long to-do list will leave you feeling pressured and unmotivated. 

You’ll agree that it’s quite tough to feel motivated when chores on your to-do list are overwhelming, right?

How then do you solve this?

Take a look at your to-do list and determine if it’s too long. If so, get rid of tasks that are not too essential. 

You might even want to move some tasks to another day and that’s fine.

Move the most important things on the list to the top, and get started with one shot at it.

As a result, you might start to feel more motivated to get to work.

3. Reward yourself when you complete tasks.

Who else loves Cola? Gather here for a selfie.

I buy myself Cola whenever I finish a job or I steal one from my Mama’s freezer.

Right, what was I saying?

Yeah, reward yourself for working. Meaning, treat yourself to a small reward for your hard work. You might find that focusing on the small rewards keep you motivated to do the chore.

Experiment with a few different strategies until you find one that works for you.

Just make sure your reward is not sabotaging your efforts. We don’t want to decrease the motivation in the long term, right?

4. Find it from others.

Sometimes it’s hard to get motivated and you need that jumpstart from others. Getting inspired by others can be in form of podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagram posts, and Tweets. You can also absorb motivation from your loved ones, your favorite Instagram accounts, or TV shows.

I’ve found that doing this motivates and inspires me to work harder and smarter, and it can do the same for you.

5. Pair a dreaded task with something you enjoy.

Doing the dishes is every last child’s greatest pain and it’s a task I dread doing. But I’ve found listening to my favorite music a perfect way to walk through that task.

Here are some other tricks I use for tasks I dread:

– Whenever I have to run errands, I go with a friend.  

 – I procrastinate a lot (nahhh, I’m not proud of it.) and whenever I find myself doing that, I read —just  to make the time being wasted productive, and to find the needed motivation.

  – I dread cooking but listening to audiobooks makes it enjoyable.

Boost your mood by adding a little fun to something you are not motivated to do. You might even find yourself looking forward to doing the task since it’s been paired with something fun.

It can work for you too. Pair a task you dread, or one you know you might procrastinate doing, with something you enjoy and feel the magic.

6. Stay optimistic.

When you are struggling with motivation, you will likely find many reasons to not take any action.

You might think: “It’ll not turn out well” or “It’ll be too hard” or “Someone else might be better.” These types of thoughts will leave you in the same spot.

Stay optimistic instead. Try arguing the opposite. Forget the “what if it doesn’t?” and focus on the “what if it does?” 

When you think you might fail, argue all the reasons why you might succeed.

Developing a balanced outlook will make you more motivated to try.

There are other ways to overcome lack of motivation too, such as:

– Surrounding yourself with people with similar goals.

– Going on a walk with nature.

– Making your tasks “habits”.

– Practicing self-care by being kind and compassionate to yourself.

– Working with an accountability partner.

– Visualize yourself completing the task.

Each way may not work for you, but try to find at least one that you can start practicing.

But then, no be me go tell you wetin you go do.

Because forget motivation, let’s face it,

 We all just want to sleep.

Now imagine after reading all these, you still don’t leave me a comment…

Edited by Daniela Obike.

No Topic. Just Thoughts.

Agnes7 Comments

An Indian movie I could remember watching as a little kid was “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani” (Prem’s Amazing Love Story).

The scene where Prem and Jenny wished on a shooting star made this movie so dear to me then.

I so much loved the idea of a shooting star after watching that movie, that I would go out almost every night when the stars are out, desperately looking for a shooting star to wish on.

Imagine my shock when I eventually got to know that a shooting star is just a meteor and not a star. 

Now you would say, “What’s the point in all of that? It’s not like my wish will come true. All a shooting star offers is fickle hope.” 

I thought that too.

But what’s so powerful about shooting stars? 

Yes, in theory, you’re not going to get what you wished for, but the ability to hope for something in return for asking— even when you know it most mostly won’t come true,— is amazing.

You may be wondering, “Why would anyone still do that if they knew nothing would happen anyway?”

It’s stupid, right?

But I love this kind of stupid.

Here’s why:

A shooting star is like God, (even though God is nothing like a shooting star.) 

We send our prayers and requests to God even if we don’t know whether He’ll bring them to pass, yet we still have faith that He will. 

We still have hope that no matter what we’ve been asking for— or no matter how many times we didn’t get it—, we will still go back to Him the next time.

Even more certain are we that we’ll get what we asked for if we keep at it time and time again, until it finally manifests.

In a sense, the shooting star is symbolic of the box we put God in; the wishes we make are symbolic of our prayers and requests that we make known to God.

A lot of us don’t take wishes seriously because we have done that many times without positive results. So when we are asked to make a wish, we become skeptical. And since things aren’t changing and our wishes aren’t coming true, we stop wishing.

Thereafter, we halfheartedly indulge in wishes because we don’t want to wish for something and be let down when it doesn’t come true.

So with God, when we pray and still don’t get what we asked for, it makes us feel as though our prayers are falling on deaf ears.

We begin to doubt God; we begin to stop looking at Him as the God who can do exceedingly abundantly far above anything we ask or think, and then we lose faith.

We start to look at God as a shooting star, a box where our prayers go, unanswered.

But it’s not true!

God hears every prayer, every word we say or think. You may not always get an answer to your prayer the way you want it or when you want it, but you will. Even if what you asked for isn’t for you, He has something bigger. 

We have to stop trying to rush Him or tell Him what to do. It’s that His will be done, not ours . Everything is in His timing. 

He’s not a place where our hopes and dreams go to die, He is the one that brings them to pass in His timing and in His way.

Never stop seeing the beauty in prayer. With God, He is the one who hears our every word, moves the mountains, and parts the sea just to see them come true. 

If you can’t see the beauty in that, the hope that is there, then how can you go boldly to God asking for something and expect to receive it?

Go ahead, say a prayer; and this time when you do, don’t hold back. Believe that you will have whatever it is you’ve been hoping for and be content in the fact that it will happen— even if it doesn’t.

That’s faith. The hope that triumphs over every situation.

Desperately hand over to God everything you’ve been wanting to happen, and let whatever war you’ve got raging in that mind of yours stop.

Now, go ahead and say a prayer.

This time, try with faith.

I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

PS: If you have a suitable title for this post, I’d love to see it in the comment section.🤝

If you haven’t already, check out my other latest posts:

25 Quotes From Francine Rivers’ The Masterpiece.

Agnes3 Comments

Hey you, how are you holding up?

I brought you some highlights from my favorite read in 2021,

And it’s none other than the fiction, The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers.

Francine gives life to the story of Roman (the main character) and there were a lot of things I learnt from Roman and Grace’s story.

I figured you’d need a couple of them so, I narrowed them down to just 25, and that’s why we’re having this post.

Of course, this is not a review so I won’t be sharing the book’s summary and my overview. But if you however want a review, kindly leave a comment.

That being said, here you go:

1. Sometimes what looks like a gift is a gift.

2. Funny thing about cancer: it reminded me I’m mortal, so it doesn’t make sense to put off the things I want to do.

3. The way a man uses language makes a difference where he can end up; gutter talk keeps one in the gutter.

4. I just want to see the big picture and know where we are going, and how we are going to get there.

5. Every one’s sunset is different.

6. Faith is just the beginning of a long difficult journey.

7. It’s not easy to go through life without love. It’s lonely. It’s painful.

8. Though he kept getting better and better, yet he still couldn’t come close to his real potential. If he doesn’t let go of his past, then he never will.

9. Just because it’s the only place you’ve ever been doesn’t mean it’s the best place for you.

10. I don’t have answers: I have faith.

11. Be strong and courageous, and for once in your life, come out of the shadows.

12. Little boys want their toys, honey.

13. All his strength hadn’t been enough to break free, but one soft word from Christ, and he was alive again.

14. You just need to remember who you are and who’s on your side. God’s going to take care of you; just stick with Him.

15. God nudges people, most people just don’t pay attention.

16. “Jesus came to set you free, Roman, not remind you constantly of where you missed the mark; we’re saved by grace…”

This was literally me screaming this to Roman in my head.

17. The longer you stay away, the more excuses keep you away.

18. The life of any man or woman rests in the palm of His– Jesus’– scarred hand.

19. Most students remember the upper-class teachers in high school and forget all about the ones they had in their first few years: the unsung heroes who teach the basics.

20. Don’t hide away and punish yourself for the rest of your life., it’s no way to live.

21. “Who gets married these days without trying each other on?”

“Trying each other on? You mean like a change of clothes?”

You want a relationship that lasts? You commit.

 You want to play house and screw around? Go back to the club and find another one-night stand.

22. If I’d brought you up to know your worth, you might not have sold yourself short.

Sometimes, women love too much and lose themselves completely.

23. I need to be sure, Lord. I know what I want, but there are plenty of days when I still don’t know what’s right.

24. Life can be pretty unbearable without something to believe in.

25. Grace swore she would never stray alone: 

“Hold me close, Lord, never let me go,” she said.

Alone, she knew she’d only drown and wash up on a sandy shore.

The Masterpiece is one of the novels that influenced my spiritual life. It made true this scripture:

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He had created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”                                     —Ephesians 2:10.

“Our pasts do not determine the future God has planned for us…” 

That was the greatest lesson I took from the book.  

Roman recognized himself at fifteen: angry, broken, with no family and no hope. 

I saw how God pulled Roman and Grace out of the mire and turned their lives around.

Then I realized — when God takes hold of a broken life, He turns it into an amazing masterpiece.

It’s amazing how beautiful ruins are. They are literally broken pieces that have been destroyed, defeated, and withered by time. 

Yet, people travel insane distances just to see what they look like, just to feel their jagged pieces with their hands and feet, and just to experience it for themselves.

It’s the same with people – broken vessels turned into God’s beautiful masterpiece. 

There is beauty in the art of redemption, and God remains, still, the Redeemer.

You are a masterpiece!


I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

PS: Thank you so much Caroline for sharing this wonderful book with me. I’m grateful.🥰

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

  • Opposition is expected. Proceed anyway.
    My fellowship recently had a Bible study quiz on the book of Ezra, and after reading the book I decided to trek through the book of Nehemiah. To understand the fullness of Nehemiah, you have to travel through Ezra first. Better yet, go all the way back to 1 + 2 Kings and slog your […]
  • Insights on Being 19: A Gift of Life Lessons.
    Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and while this dictum is certainly true, self-reflection is not necessarily an easy thing to practice. We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, our mobile phones are constantly buzzing, social media is infinitely calling, and Netflix always has something new to binge on. Taking the […]
  • Try to Save the Plant.
    On cutting off the dead things and watching new things come to life. Five months ago, I wrote about a plant on my room’s balcony that takes nothing but occasional water to keep it alive. And still, that plant started suffering from the very beginning. If you remember the post, I’m sad to announce that […]
  • Confessions of a Nigerian Skinny Girl: I do not need your rude comments.
    This one is for my skinny sisters. “You’re this thin, yet you’re not beautiful? You’d better not add weight.” That unsolicited advice from my former classmate never left my head. Her words messed me up badly. That was 2017, my first year as a high school Senior.  “You’d better not add weight.” Her words followed […]
  • Trust God through the storm.
    “This is just an ambivalent chapter in my life. I will get through it. I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I will.” I don’t know when exactly I started giving myself this pep talk – or why. It just sort of formed. I wake up every morning, and I […]

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Dumb Around Others.

Agnes24 Comments

Most times all I want to do is sit and converse with my family. But sometimes, sitting with them is a punishment.

Allow me to take you through the tale of my punishment.

I’m sitting at the far end of the room. My mother is to my left and my brothers. . . well, they are everywhere. My mother and eldest brother are discussing Agriculture.

Honestly, I only know how to eat the good food; anything else and my brain says, “Please, excuse me.” 

My other two brothers are so engrossed in their football talk and I know next to nothing about that topic, so I did the only right thing— keeping my mouth busy with food.

When they have such conversations, I feel like an idiot because I have no clue what they are talking about. I have vague ideas though, but no deep details.

And therefore, I can’t add to the conversation; resulting in my brain telling me I am dumb. 

Okay, enough of the scenario, let’s get right into why I wrote this blog post to you.

The other day, I realized something as they were discussing:

I am not dumb.

It’s just that the topics they were into and discussing were not of my interest. That’s why I didn’t know anything about them. There are topics I know of that they have no clue about, so I am smart in those topics.

I was earlier cringing and making myself look small while listening in on my family’s conversation. But the moment I heard my inner wisdom, I smiled and sat up straight.

Movies. Books. Writing. Mental Health. Self-development. Psychology. Spirituality. Humanity.

I can talk about these topics for hours.

• Let me tell you why I think we should all reform our minds so that body-shaming and bullying will be reduced.

• Let me tell you about the imagery Charles Dickens brings in his book, Great Expectations.

• Let me tell you why I think scriptwriters deserve more recognition, ’cause who the hell wrote Money Heist?!’

• Let me tell you why I think it’s better to stay single than to marry for all the wrong reasons.

• And don’t even get me started on Marvel’s stuff or Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s books.

I am intelligent, and nobody can make me feel otherwise.

Hell yeah, you are intelligent too!

It’s okay not to know about a topic, but you are not dumb.

You are intelligent in the topics you find most interesting.

We all want to have meaningful conversations and we go out looking for people to have these conversations with. But what most of us get wrong is— we discuss the right topic with the wrong group.

This is why we look for like-minded people, people who will understand our language.

So next time you feel dumb around a bunch of people, remember that just because you’re not interested in their topics doesn’t make you dumb.

You, too, are intelligent in your way.

And if you are like me, whenever you feel dumb amidst a group of people, change the subject to one you are good at and make them feel dumb for some minutes too.

In the end, it’s all equal.

Stay intelligent!


I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

Follow my blog and leave a comment, I’d like to know what you think, and don’t forget to like. It helps a lot!

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

  • Opposition is expected. Proceed anyway.
    My fellowship recently had a Bible study quiz on the book of Ezra, and after reading the book I decided to trek through the book of Nehemiah. To understand the fullness of Nehemiah, you have to travel through Ezra first. Better yet, go all the way back to 1 + 2 Kings and slog your […]
  • Insights on Being 19: A Gift of Life Lessons.
    Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and while this dictum is certainly true, self-reflection is not necessarily an easy thing to practice. We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, our mobile phones are constantly buzzing, social media is infinitely calling, and Netflix always has something new to binge on. Taking the […]
  • Try to Save the Plant.
    On cutting off the dead things and watching new things come to life. Five months ago, I wrote about a plant on my room’s balcony that takes nothing but occasional water to keep it alive. And still, that plant started suffering from the very beginning. If you remember the post, I’m sad to announce that […]
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    This one is for my skinny sisters. “You’re this thin, yet you’re not beautiful? You’d better not add weight.” That unsolicited advice from my former classmate never left my head. Her words messed me up badly. That was 2017, my first year as a high school Senior.  “You’d better not add weight.” Her words followed […]
  • Trust God through the storm.
    “This is just an ambivalent chapter in my life. I will get through it. I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I will.” I don’t know when exactly I started giving myself this pep talk – or why. It just sort of formed. I wake up every morning, and I […]

For Crying Out Loud Don’t Die, Wake Up!

Agnes24 Comments

I am “yelling” at myself too.

There’s this green plant in my dorm room’s balcony. It wasn’t taken care of by me nor my roommates until a friend who visited us told us the usefulness of the plant. 

After her words, I scrambled to my feet, filled a large bowl with water, and practically sprinted towards it. The soil it was in was dry as a desert and drank in every drop so fast, I almost went to get more— I didn’t want to add to its stress by drowning it. I reached to caress some of the still-green leaves. 

It would have to make it.

It had to live and I had to just hope it wouldn’t wither away.

Like an Ivy, the plant survived. I decided that would be the first and last time I didn’t look after it. From then on, it would stay hydrated, lush, and lovely— just like me.

It had been so well taken care of for a while now after it almost died, and now I haven’t even been in the room in over two months. News of the extended strike gives me the certainty that the plant will die before the forced holiday ends. 

Truth be told, it stands no chance at survival with no one to water its soil or monitor its light consumption. 

I can only hope it would stay miraculously alive.

But YOU?

You are not that plant.

You can stand a chance at survival if you feed and nurture yourself. You can survive, same with what is in you.

There is a deposit in you that shouldn’t waste away.

Don’t put your potential to sleep. The knowledge you’ve acquired shouldn’t die. You’ve got life, and that’s the biggest chance you’ll ever get. 

Productively do something, don’t just sit and waste away. Learn and grow. Feed and nurture yourself. Invest in yourself and live a valuable life.

So don’t sleep,

Don’t die,

Wake up!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.❤

P.S: Pray for my plant, please.

Will you?

Edited by Daniela Obike.

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

  • Opposition is expected. Proceed anyway.
    My fellowship recently had a Bible study quiz on the book of Ezra, and after reading the book I decided to trek through the book of Nehemiah. To understand the fullness of Nehemiah, you have to travel through Ezra first. Better yet, go all the way back to 1 + 2 Kings and slog your […]
  • Insights on Being 19: A Gift of Life Lessons.
    Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and while this dictum is certainly true, self-reflection is not necessarily an easy thing to practice. We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, our mobile phones are constantly buzzing, social media is infinitely calling, and Netflix always has something new to binge on. Taking the […]
  • Try to Save the Plant.
    On cutting off the dead things and watching new things come to life. Five months ago, I wrote about a plant on my room’s balcony that takes nothing but occasional water to keep it alive. And still, that plant started suffering from the very beginning. If you remember the post, I’m sad to announce that […]
  • Confessions of a Nigerian Skinny Girl: I do not need your rude comments.
    This one is for my skinny sisters. “You’re this thin, yet you’re not beautiful? You’d better not add weight.” That unsolicited advice from my former classmate never left my head. Her words messed me up badly. That was 2017, my first year as a high school Senior.  “You’d better not add weight.” Her words followed […]
  • Trust God through the storm.
    “This is just an ambivalent chapter in my life. I will get through it. I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I will.” I don’t know when exactly I started giving myself this pep talk – or why. It just sort of formed. I wake up every morning, and I […]

How to Accept Compliments.

Agnes14 Comments

Whatever you do, giving and receiving compliments plays a critical role in building and maintaining relationships. When done well, a compliment is one of the most powerful ways to let someone know that we value and appreciate them. Yet, these interactions can be surprisingly tricky to navigate for both the giver and the receiver.

Most times, givers often feel that their compliments might be misinterpreted, seen as not genuine, or they might be seen as a kiss-up. The receivers too might feel undeserving of the compliment, question the giver’s intention, or worry that they won’t be able to reciprocate well. These reasons make people associate embarrassment and discomfort with this process.

I however think that to get better at giving compliments, we must first get better at receiving them.

How to Accept a Compliment.

Many people have trouble accepting compliments for a number of reasons. Sometimes it can be caused by feelings of low self-esteem, social anxiety, or unfamiliarity with receiving compliments.

I know sometimes it’s hard for us to tell when a compliment is genuine, and we might automatically try to play safe by responding with a joke. The thing is, when a person compliments you, the proper response is to give a thank you.

When you are complimented and you pass the credit, respond as if the person is teasing you or awkwardly explain why you don’t deserve it, the giver would not be eager to do it again because you have indirectly judged their opinion untrue. So, rather, reply with a thank you, and if possible, try to return the compliment. (You are not obligated to do so though.)

It shouldn’t matter to you how a compliment is. It’s not your duty to decipher whether a person is genuine or not. It only matters how God sees you and how you see yourself. Once the compliment aligns with the right way you see yourself, it should not matter, take it. Compliments are like gifts, accept them. It does not matter if you agree or disagree with what they are saying, just relate to it as a gift and take it. A simple “thank you” shows that you are confident in yourself.

People can never and will never see you beyond how you see yourself. The way you see something is how it would be and would be treated by others. Be confident in whom you are, and others will too.

When next you are complimented, remember that a simple thank you and reciprocation do it all. And if you are complimented for another person’s work, redirect the compliment to the correct person politely.

Over the week, pay attention to how you react to compliments and you may find that that it’s not that hard to say “Thank you!”

Stay beautiful!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.❤

PS: I dislike long posts and if I was to share how to give sincere compliments, it would become one. So tomorrow, I will put up a post on that. Thanks for reading to this end. See you tomorrow. Bright and early!

Don’t be afraid to receive a compliment, you earned it. Receive it with a smile and gratitude.🙂

Random compliments – throw them around like confetti.

Agnes22 Comments

They aren’t yours, to begin with. Dish them out freely, they aren’t yours to keep. A kind, genuine, thoughtful compliment has the power to turn someone’s day around in an instant and make them feel proud, happy, and appreciated. Just ensure you do when you tell someone you like their shirt and it’s not being said in Mean Girls Regina George-style “Oh my God I love your bracelet, where did you get it?!” (We all watched “Mean Girls”, right?😂)

“If you see something beautiful in someone, speak it.”

Ruthie Lindsey.

Compliments make us feel good. They help us communicate the appreciation we feel toward one another. Just yesterday, a friend told me I was doing well. Of course, I knew that already, but sometimes, it takes someone repeating it to you to give you the strength and courage you need to carry on. Another instance was when I attended to an older woman at my mum’s stand last week. Before departing, she complimented me with these words: “You have a beautiful smile, Feranmi.” I wasn’t compliment-starved in that area, yet her words made my day, and the next time she came, the big smile wasn’t far from my face. My point from this – behaviors that get rewarded are likely to be repeated. So, if you tell someone how much you liked his smile when you greeted each other, he’s likely to smile again on seeing you.

I need you to get this right. Giving out compliments – even to strangers – is not about you being fake and looking for people to like you. No, it’s way beyond that. If you pass someone, and like something, say it. But make sure it’s a STAR compliment – Specific, True, Appropriate, and Respectful. “I love those shoes!” or “Nice hairdo!” or “You have a beautiful smile!” or “You are amazing!” or “Wow your eyes are beautiful.”…

Don’t hold back. Why? Because life is hard and people can be mean plus nobody wants a mean comment. You never know how much those few words can mean to someone. It’s nice to be nice, so try your little best to put positivity out there in the universe.

“Everybody likes a compliment.”

Abraham Lincoln.

Never underestimate the power of a random compliment. Sometimes, the simple compliments mean the most. Throw compliments around like confetti. Make someone’s day.🤸‍♂️❤

Stay beautiful!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God!❤

PS: I do not want this to turn into a long post. So tomorrow, I’ll be back with another write-up on what you should know about how to give compliments and receive them. See you tomorrow! Bright and early.🤗

Social Media Detox: Musings.

Agnes8 Comments

It’s no secret that young adults spend a lot of time on social media. Of course, it is an amazing tool, but at the same time, it can be addictive! When I found myself being too dependent on the media and lonely, stressed out and unproductive, dealing with low confidence and poor decision-making, having trouble sleeping, coupled with eye fatigue and no control over my usage – I knew it was time for a break.

What I did? I picked a post-it note, and wrote down reasons for a break.

  • I was fed up with feeling like I could never put down my phone.
  • I wanted to regain my free time AND my mental health.
  • I needed to take a break to be alone with my own thoughts to rejuvenate.
  • I wanted to be in control of how I feel using something or doing something, not the other way around.
  • I needed to declutter… my schedule, habits, time, goals, mind and life.

I turned off notifications and set time limits, set my major apps as hidden and pfft, I went off.

Here are the realizations I came to after my detox, some achievements, some awakenings:

  1. I finished a whole series with it’s prequel in three days. It was 5,456-paged. And no, it wasn’t just smooth reading. I highlighted and wrote notes. That was a new height in my reading history!
  2. There was a task on my to-do list that’s been bumped for months. I just kept dreading doing it. However, I sat down and was able to focus completely on the task and get majority of it done in one sitting(which took about two hours of writing). I’m proud of myself for making progress on that task.
  3. I outlined an idea for a new project.
  4. I spent most of my time on YouTube and Udemy. (Reedsy contents are the best!) Over time, I’ve been taking courses halfway, always dreading assignments. This time around, I completed a course.
  5. I took out a day to go through my emails – never knew I subscribed to many newsletters with amazing contents and had been missing out on a lot.
  6. I started a Bible study plan on my YouVersion Bible app. I’ve always seen studying my Bible as a task, now I’m slowly easing into it. Believe me, it’s everything amazing!
  7. I am addicted to WordPress and Instagram. I missed those environments more than any other.
  8. I love the silence more than I know. And I love having conversations with myself.
  9. I realized that the never-ending headache and eye pain I usually suffer was probably from having a 10 hour average screen time. Maybe, maybe not.
  10. The world wouldn’t stop, my absence won’t stop anything. And that’s a tiny bit depressing.
  11. I’ve been missing out on a lot of sleep. About time, I pick up that habit.
  12. Walks are relaxing and beneficial. I’ll definitely be taking long walks now.
  13. Even if I don’t stay on social media, any information that is useful enough, will still reach me.
  14. I love reading, but I hated schoolbooks. I can say schoolbooks are not that bad now.

The detox wasn’t easy and at a point, I downloaded Candy Crush. To know me is to know I love the Candy Crush game. It turned to be a bad idea as it was super addictive. After a few hours of non-stop play, I deleted the app.

I’m not of the opinion that social media is all bad, neither am I judging people for using social media. Like anything else, I think social media is great in moderation. It’s helped me do some amazing things and meet some awesome people. But, I do hope people reflect on their usage of social media and think about taking a break, if nothing else just to see how it makes them feel.

Addiction is a scary thing. It’s definitely not something any of us want to admit to. Taking this break from social media has more than proven to me that I was addicted to it. Was it an unhealthy addiction? It was.

I feel happier now. Not that I’m normally unhappy, but I often feel stressed or strained. Now, I’m of clearer thought and less stressed out. My productivity, attention span and clarity of thought all increased greatly with living without social media for two weeks.

The biggest benefit has been the removal of negativity and unnecessary information. Taking a break, surely, can be beneficial to your health and happiness.

I’m thinking about what I will do on social media now that my detox is up. I don’t want to regress back into old addictive habits and definitely do not want to get sucked back into social expectations and notification addiction.

So, no social media usage during my mornings and no social media usage after 10pm – I need me to help me sleep well.

I really value taking control of my time. And my next social media detox aim is for 30 days. I promised myself to be uncomfortable this year, and I won’t stop at anything.

P.S: I must admit, my friend, Indigo’s blog post on her social media break gave me the needed push to go on a hiatus.

Have you ever gone on a social media break?

I’d like to hear your stories in the comments.

Thanks for reading!🥰

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.❤️

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

Just a call away.

Agnes7 Comments

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”

JEREMIAH 33:3.

I don’t know what it’s like to be married.

But I know the relationship between a man and his wife is a miniature representation of the relationship between a believer and God.

Bringing it down to close friendships now – marriage, clearly, ain’t my forte – we all always want that one person we can offload and rant to about anything and everything. Truth is, you won’t always feel like listening to your friend everytime – there would be times that you or your friend might be dealing with some personal issues and might be emotionally or physically unavailable.

Many times, we tend to have this subconscious way of taking God’s place in each other’s life, and when we begin to perform below each other’s expectations, offences and trouble set in.

The thing is, no one has the capacity to take God’s place. No matter how hard we love, it pales compared to God’s love for us. He is the best love. He is never too busy to pick our calls.

When God offered us a lifetime of partnership, an underlying message was, “You can be vulnerable with me, let me know where it hurts.” When He made plans to share an intimate relationship with us, He was low-key saying, “I want to be involved in even the smallest details of your life.”

I tell Him about my good and bad days. I let Him know about that tiny issue that got me riled up. I gist Him about my crush. You can too. He can be your God and confidant too, if you let Him. You can tell Him all your weaknesses and not fear what He thinks of you.

When you call God, He doesn’t only listen patiently and thoughtfully, He proffers solution to everything that bothers you.

Tears are calls too.

And yeah, God still answer knee-mails.

God is ever ready to listen, and you can’t wear Him out.

What more?

When we call God, we need not worry about running out of airtime; He always answers the phone, and calls made to Him are with no charges. So no worries about bad network and low call-credits.

So, whenever you feel so lonesome because you’re not in a relationship, and you have no one to share your worries with, remember you are in a relationship with God, you have His phone number – just call Him and tell Him everything that’s on your mind.

Doesn’t that make you want to ring Him up right away?

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.❤️

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