Insights on Being 19: A Gift of Life Lessons.

Agnes8 Comments

Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and while this dictum is certainly true, self-reflection is not necessarily an easy thing to practice. We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, our mobile phones are constantly buzzing, social media is infinitely calling, and Netflix always has something new to binge on. Taking the time for reflection is now a bit of a lost art.

I turned 19 three weeks ago and if I’ll be honest, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing anymore and I’ve never been more excited (lowkey terrified) to find out. 19 feels like my water year – no longer rooted, but gold, flowing; embracing surge, embracing life.

Looking back at my life before 19, it felt to me that I lived in a relatively unconscious or semi-conscious state. And now, I am ready for life. I am ready to live. And I’ll like this year to be a real wake up call to live unconsciously.

That bit of wisdom made me reach out to some people I know with a vast store of life wisdom. I learn from these fine people, and I know firsthand that collectively, they are the keepers of tremendous wisdom and healthy ideas. They are guardians of life knowledge the rest of us can benefit from if we’d only take time to listen.

So recently, I asked these amazing individuals one simple question – what advice would you give your 19-year-old self? Here are their answers:

Oluwapelumi Jegede (AnikeBeloved)

Be present. In every sense of it. 

Almost all the time, we have our heads buried in wanting a result or building a future that we fail to absorb what’s present. We worry too much about the future, shift plans to the future (because we believe that the future is the best time for whatever we’ve conceived), and fail to live in the now. We fail to harness the power of now because we have our eyes fixed on the future.

Here’s what I have realized – There’s no future without the present. This present works the future so whatever you do now dominates a greater part of your future. It’s not like a future is reserved somewhere and you will be ushered into it. Have a routine and stick to it. Good things don’t happen in isolation. One intentional step after the other takes one to one’s destination. We often time wait on lifts while we can climb a stair of steps. A stream flows into a river over time if it won’t stop flowing (I love to think we are tributaries). But many want to be rivers without flowing first. So, sometimes, they dry.

Tolulope Oyewale

Don’t play the game of comparison. It kills one’s reasoning. Be yourself. Be confident in your skin.

Get a Godly mentor to guide you on this journey to avoid making mistakes/errors. Some mistakes can easily be avoided because you have someone who has gone through such a process and learned his/her lessons.

Give room for growth. It’s okay to make mistakes but it’s not okay to wallow in regret or mistakes, rather pick your lessons from them.

Choose your friends wisely. Your network determines your net worth. Choose friends who are goal-getters and of like minds.

Mubarak Aremu (MB Banks)

My 19 was free. I knew what freedom looks like even though I wasn’t caged before. I saw and felt the freedom to be, the freedom to live. I learned how to write my own stories, literally. Not to sound too abstract. I ventured into literary arts writing with little or no knowledge of literature. I never had a history in arts too, so, coming into the writing scene felt new and liberating. I was able to free my ideas into lines of poetry, a bulk of unedited prose, and trickles of drama.

So, one thing I think perfectly describes that moment is FREEDOM. I was creating at will, most of the time. It then grew into what it is now – what I am now.

If I get to speak to the 19-year-old me, I’d only say; EXPLORE MORE, as much as you would have, as much as you can.

Elizabeth Adedokun

If I could advise my 19-year-old self, what would I say?

Appreciate the gift of people. I know that one tough quality I never had was relying on people, trusting people, and holding on to people. I have gotten better at this, but it would have been much better if I knew it early. To know that no one comes into my life without a reason.

To be sincere, I don’t think there’s much I would say to my younger self. She was a younger, imperfect yet perfect version of me. All I did to her was improve and smoothen out my shortcomings.

Okay, there’s something else I would say and that’s “to take life one day at a time.” I worried so much as a young girl (I’m still young anyway). I worried about everything and anything and I was quick to anger. Many people complained about the constant lack of a smile on my face but I didn’t care. This habit is something I’m still trying to fight. So, if I could have said anything to my 19-year-old self, I’d tell her to chill. Relax babe, you’re going to get where you’re going, no need to rush. Stop worrying because God has you and you have the greatest backing.

Goodnews Popoola

If there’s a piece of advice I wish I had gotten earlier before 19, it would be the fact that the best of God for me, for us, for anyone, might be the least of what we envisioned.

If anyone has a definition of what ‘best’ is, that would be God. I was just this naive and zealous young man who didn’t really know what life is about. Never envisioned failures. All I could see was a smooth smooth journey, like a Smoove drink. (Even the sound of “Smoove” causes a vibration in the vocal cords. So how is that smooth?) 

I failed so many times. I broke my neck, broke my back at certain points. Even with the wounds and my backbones looking for their sockets again, I still moved. I still leaped.   

Only if I had known, that the best of God for me might seem the opposite, to me (so to speak) at some point, I would have prepared for 19. I would have maybe worn some protective gear. Maybe wore hiking shoes to hike the mountains. Maybe take some extra water and bread. Maybe take along extra sweatshirts for the cold nights. And maybe, take an extra wine to celebrate my wins. 

It’s so beautiful to be 19. My life started that year.

Oludare Priscilla

At age 19, I had my wins and my losses for sure. As they say, you win some and lose some.

MY SPIRITUAL LIFE: My walk with God was not balanced. I struggled with balancing the doctrines and teachings in school fellowship with what I had known from home. Also, God was to me a mean God, who once you decide to come to Him, you must be perfect else He strikes you dead at the slightest opportunity. I struggled a lot and I had an almost non-existent relationship with God.

 TO 19-YEAR-OLD ME: Baby, God is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. He’s a loving Father and a just God. He is always on your side, He is for you and not against you.

MY ACADEMICS: I had my first carryover at this age. I was shattered, I was down, I was almost broken.

My result in my 2nd year in the university was nothing to write home about. I was confused. How am I not writing the right things? How am I to answer these law questions? What exactly do these lecturers want from me and a lot more? Maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was. Maybe this law is not for me and lots more. 

TO 19-YEAR-OLD ME: I know you messed up and that’s okay. It’s okay not to get a hang of everything the first time. You’re okay and you’re fine, however, you should have spent more time reading, understanding, and regurgitating everything. You are smart and you’re worth everything good in this life.

BUSINESS ASPECT: Well, this aspect makes me proud. I launched my business at age 19. I started boldly and I took huge risks. I spent my birthday on the streets of OAU advertising my bedsheets to 100-level students who had just resumed. I took huge risks this year. I also had a few losses, times I doubted myself, sold below my profit margin just to retain customers, and many more.

TO 19-YEAR-OLD SELF: I can’t be more proud of you right now, you took a huge risk that is now making way for you. I’m proud you took that huge step, however, you should never doubt yourself. You work so hard for every penny you’ve ever made, and you should never sell yourself cheap.

RELATIONSHIP ASPECT: I spent my 19th year so angry, bitter, and full of hate. I hated the male gender, I was hurt and I held on to my hurt, I refused to let go and let God heal me. God! I had no relationship with anything “male”, I could barely stand them. I just would never let anyone get close.

TO MY 19-YEAR-OLD SELF: I’m sorry for your hurt. I’m sorry you had to endure so much hurt and pain, and I’m sorry your young heart had to hold on to so much hatred and bitterness. However, I know God heals, let Him wash away the hurt, talk to Him about it all and leave it with Him, don’t carry that load of hurt with you. It’s okay to be down, you don’t have to be strong all the time, you can ugly cry if it’ll make you better, but never continue with the bitterness. I love you, little heart.

Christie Oderinde.

What advice would I give to my 19-year-old self?

Live for something. Simply put, live purposefully.

Starve your distractions– gadgets, friends, e.t.c, and focus on what truly moves the needle. Read so well and study so hard.

Keep your circle of friends simple. There’s no award for who has the largest number of friends.

Be there for your close ones. Be present.

Kill every feeling of jealousy. Kill it as fast as it arises.

You want to be in a relationship? Define YOU first. Don’t rush.

A lot of things will not matter in the coming years, so, chill. This is the best time to take all the calculated risk. Take that course now. Start that business. Build that connection. What’s the worst that can happen?

Stay happy. Kill guilt. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

We all have much to learn from others in our lives, especially those who have perspective that results from living life, experiencing life, and learning life’s lessons through the years. I encourage all of us to listen carefully to the people around us. You just may find the piece of wisdom you need to help you in a difficult moment.

Do you have a favorite piece of advice that you wish you had known when you were younger? Feel free to share your wisdom with us in the comment section below. We’re excited to hear from you.

Did you find this post helpful? I’d love you to leave a like, comment and share. Thank you.

You might not be 19. But still ask: What do you want to tell yourself today?

Love as always + peace,

Oluwaferanmi.

Graphic by Mayor Graphics on IG.

Try to Save the Plant.

Agnes9 Comments
Photo from Pexels.

On cutting off the dead things and watching new things come to life.

Five months ago, I wrote about a plant on my room’s balcony that takes nothing but occasional water to keep it alive. And still, that plant started suffering from the very beginning. If you remember the post, I’m sad to announce that I met it dead when I resumed school. The poor little plant’s leaves had turned brown and had wilted.

I wish I could write that I disposed of the plant and moved on with my life, but that dang plant sat on the balcony for the next three weeks. It just sat there, taunting us and daring us to move it. I kept telling myself that this would be the day I’d heave the plant. It sat there. And it sat there. And it sat there.

This week, I walked outside on our balcony and noticed a new plant sitting in the sunlight and soaking up the rays.

“What is that?” I asked my roommate. “Did we get another plant?!”

“It’s the plant,” she said. “The same one from before.”

I did a double-take. No way. This plant was vibrant and green. This plant looked healthy. This could not be the little dead plant that was left alone for far beyond 14 days. This plant was THRIVING.

I wondered who decided to give it one more go. Who trimmed the dead leaves, resituated the plant, and covered it in new soil. And how in a matter of a day, that plant had life back in its leafy limbs. I was shocked and amazed.

This morning, as I’m taking my cereal and writing this post, the plant is sitting outside, living her best life. She is glowing, and she’s in her element– finally living how she was always meant to live. I don’t know what changed, but I also think it’s remarkable that you could show up with a pair of scissors, cut off the dead things, and watch new things come to life. With just a little time and energy, and the will to try again, something is different this time around.

It makes me think of the passage in Isaiah 43, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Cut off the dead things and watch new things come to life.

I don’t know who needs to hear it, and I honestly don’t know what “that plant” is in your life today, but I felt so compelled to show up here today and say this:

Try to save the plant.

Maybe you’ve tried a million times before. Perhaps you have one more little try left in you. Cash it in.

Give it one more shot.

Try to save the plant.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this blog and how we’ve been going strong for the last one plus year. We’ve been through so much together. We’ve learned together and I’m honored to play the smallest role in your becoming.

But as I’ve been thinking about it lately, I keep remembering the feeling of knowing I always belonged at the table. And if there is any feeling I could ever hope to conjure with my writing, I pray it would be that one. I pray my words will bring you a sense of hope. I pray they would feel like coming home or finding shelter from the rain. I pray you always know, no matter how much time goes on, that I will make space for you here. You always have a seat at my table and I want you here. There’s always a space for you here.

I pour my heart out on this blog and I love getting to interact with so many of you. But there are also so many of you that I never get to know about and I want to. So I’m asking earnestly, will you write back to me today? Will you let me know you’re out there? Just tell me about yourself. Whatever you want to say.

I want to know you’re at the table. I want to know how you got here. I want to know if you like cookies. I want to know how you make your tea and what you worry about at night when the rest of the world goes to sleep. You can tell me anything. You can tell me nearly nothing. You can even attach a picture if you want— of you, or your beautiful family. Whatever. I just would love to spend some time reading about you for once.

This community matters so much to me and I would really love to know the faces who sit at the table day after day to read my posts. We’ve built a really beautiful thing together and I pray it’s a table that only gets longer as time goes on.

I know it sometimes feels like the world forgot about you but I pray you always know you belong in this corner of the online world. The lights are on in the kitchen for you. The cookies are set on the table. The tea is being made and the kettle will be hissing soon. Come inside, friend. Have a seat. 

If you’d like to connect with me beyond WordPress, here is my WhatsApp link for more access. I hope to see you there.

I am Oluwaferanmi, 

And you are loved by God.❤

Confessions of a Nigerian Skinny Girl: I do not need your rude comments.

Agnes12 Comments

This one is for my skinny sisters.

“You’re this thin, yet you’re not beautiful? You’d better not add weight.”

That unsolicited advice from my former classmate never left my head. Her words messed me up badly. That was 2017, my first year as a high school Senior.

 “You’d better not add weight.”

Her words followed me everywhere. I started to have this intense fear of gaining weight. I thought I could control my weight and shape. And to some extent, I did.

I resumed at my boarding school, a healthy young girl. I left with an eating disorder no one knew about.

I hid it well from my friends and classmates so that no one noticed my frequent skipping of meals, refusal to eat, and denial of hunger.

After all, I was that girl who was always seen consuming junk or talking about food. But was I really eating?

Yup, you guessed right: I wasn’t.

Every school break and holiday had my mum complaining about my extreme weight loss, but she attributed it to the school meals.
Little did she know…

Looking back now, I can’t help but cringe at the idea of me inducing vomiting and frequently measuring my weight.

Anorexia is an eating disorder characterized by abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted perception of weight.

But the thing with Anorexia is, it isn’t really about food. Slowly you’ll find yourself equating thinness with self-worth and that was the way it was with me.

I wanted no fat. I wanted no weight. I wanted thin me, with no addition nor loss.

I couldn’t bear being described as ugly. If starving myself would make me beautiful, then fine, I’m gonna starve myself.

But that definitely wasn’t the end or beginning of it all.

Spending the whole of 2021 at home was a big nightmare for me and when the comments like “You’re adding weight already”,”Your cheeks are getting bigger”, started coming in, I knew I was already slacking off.

My fear kicked in, and the cycle started all over again.

I would make excuses for not eating, deny hunger, skip meals and even lie about how much food I’d eaten.

This eating disorder turned me into a compulsive liar. I just couldn’t help it. All I was concerned about was not adding weight and hiding it from my family.

And boy! did I do a perfect job at hiding it.

My big brother was the first to notice my extreme weight loss. He would comment on my fatigue, large intake of water, and insomnia,

But trust me to go all- defensive. The very first day he mentioned the chance of me having an eating disorder, I refused to agree.

“I do not have an eating disorder. I’m just watching my weight, right? I definitely don’t have an eating disorder.”

I refused to accept my obsession with my weight.

My sister-in-law also joined in on the campaign.

“Are you starving yourself?” She would ask over and over again. My response was always “No.”

Funnily enough, despite all their mentions of extreme weight loss, all I kept seeing, every time I checked myself in the mirror for flaws, was fat.

Lots of fat.

Then the effects start showing.

I couldn’t tolerate cold, I was always tired –even without doing anything, stopped seeing my period, was always anxious, and oh! the mood swings and disorders.

I became so thin that I hated that same frame I was obsessed with maintaining.

My family had to step in. The recovery process is another story entirely ’cause I’m still recovering. 

Now, I’ve gained a better sense of who I am and I’m slowly returning to healthier eating habits. I love my shape now. I love me – the beautiful me.

Whether thin or fat, who cares?

I’m so glad my self-esteem finally left the basement. And I really wished I never let the words of an insecure 14 year old girl get to me. 

But it’s all in the past.

All I breathe now is fresh air. 

Our society will never stop body-shaming, but I can choose to respond positively to it, yeah?

                     ***

While people often associate body shaming with people on the big side, skinny shaming can be equally harmful to a person’s well-being.

This is not to equate thin-shaming with fat-shaming. Body shaming in any form is unwarranted, but it is important to acknowledge that thin people still hold an advantage as our society glorifies thinness.

I’ve been a skinny girl all my life but I’ve still had to battle with insecurities since forever. I’ve stored a lot of anger inside me against my family, relatives, friends, and strangers who contributed to my insecurities and low self-confidence.

I’m tired of your many insensitive questions. 

You don’t need to ask if I’m dieting. I’m not! My body type should not make you make silly conclusions.
 
You don’t need to tell me to eat something. My Mama’s meals are delicious and I eat them three times a day.

Thank you for caring so much about my health!

You don’t need to tell me what to wear and what not to. I can’t pull off all outfits and nobody else can, for goodness’s sake!

Sometimes I hate how dresses hang on my thin frame. Sometimes I hate how shortchanged I was in the chest department. So I don’t need your advice to fuel my insecurities ok?

You don’t need to tell me why I need more curves on my body. I don’t need them! You only want them on me because I do not fit your standards or measurements of beauty.

And if you’re not comfortable with what you see, then you may need to take your eyes off me and fix them on someone else, got that?

You don’t need to call me names. I already have one – a real name, and you know it so use it!

I do not need your unsolicited advice; Keep ’em for no one else.

In fact, scratch that…chew and swallow your advice!

I’m still learning to love myself in my thin frame.
My best friend is still taking my unaware pictures to show me how beautiful I am.

I’m still learning how to wear my collarbone with pride. I’m still learning to view my beauty from God’s view.

I’m still learning confidence from the words of Psalm 139:14. But till I completely learn, do not make me feel insecure by passing rude comments about what I can’t control.

I fit curse pesin.

Okay, I won’t.

But, don’t provoke me to!

                       ***

This post is dedicated to MB Banks. I shared this with him some months back and he helped pull my words together. Thank you for listening. Thank you for letting me know that my weight is not a burden. Thank you for making me realize that I am a beautiful ball of magic and fire. Thank you. Really.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

Did you enjoy reading this?

If yes, leave a like, give me a follow, and let me know what your thoughts on body-shaming are in the comments.

I’ll see you whenever.

Till then, stay beautiful!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God.

Trust God through the storm.

Agnes8 Comments

“This is just an ambivalent chapter in my life. I will get through it. I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I’ll get through it, I will.”

I don’t know when exactly I started giving myself this pep talk – or why. It just sort of formed. I wake up every morning, and I tell myself that, and it slowly morphed into a mantra. 

I felt the need to remind myself of the temporariness of a day, to reassure myself that I got through yesterday; I’ll get through today.

I was panicking. That was why. Fearful and scared without reason. My thoughts spiralled out of control. 

This attitude was a downer that was making my life miserable. Every day felt like “blue Monday.”

I wanted it to go.

I was telling a friend this recently and she laughed and said, “I know – this is where you are going to use the 139th Psalm.”

She was so right. It just has to be my favorite portion of Scripture. Let me share the first ten verses with you.

“LORD, you have examined me and you know me. You know everything I do; from far away you understand all my thoughts.

You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions.

Even before I speak, you already know what I will say.

You are all around me on every side; you protect me with your power.

Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding.

Where could I go to escape from you?

If I went up to heaven, you would be there; if I lay down in the world of the dead, you would be there.

Where could I get away from your presence?

If I flew away beyond the east or lived in the farthest place in the west, you would be there to lead me, you would be there to help me.”  GNT.

Read it again, and again, until it sinks in. Think about it. 

God knows everything about you. What you do, think, or say – and all before it even happens.

He is acquainted with you – completely! He goes before you and He follows from behind.

You are surrounded by His love and care. And He has laid His hand upon you. Wherever you are, He is there.

You know that God loves you, but do you realize that He also likes you? Just the way you are. Knowing everything about you, your failures, your doubts, fears, and heartaches.

He still likes you – and me. 

See, here’s the thing: No matter how slight– or serious– our problem is, it can be handled best without panic.

While reading the Gospel of Mark one day, I discovered a beautiful parallel between the disciples of Jesus and us. Jesus had been teaching the multitude beside the sea.

When evening came, He instructed His disciples to take the boat to the other side. Here is the account of their “stormy trip” as recorded in Mark 4:37-40.

It is so easy when the storms of life engulf you with loneliness and doubt, to wonder if the Lord is even aware that you hurt.

Perhaps you cry out, much as the disciples did, “Don’t you even care that I’m lonely and afraid?”

And even as you turn to Him, He replies, “Yes, I care.”

Then, He will whisper, “Peace, be still.” to the winds that toss you to and fro.

He is there, in your struggle to find yourself and to cope with each new problem.

Not only does the Lord know when we are about to panic because of some unusual circumstance but, He also understands. He understands because of that day in the boat with His disciples.

He knows the weakness of our humanity and stands ready to meet our every need.

It’s like what Pastor Todd said, “The storm has an expiration hour. You can still worship in the storm. Trust God, through the storm.”

But for now, remember that no matter how stormy your life seems, or how prone you are to panic, the Lord understands and is just waiting to say “Peace, be still.”

And just this morning, I once again opened my Bible to the 143rd Psalm. David always seems to say what is on my heart better than I can, so I made verses 7 and 8 my prayer for the day.

“Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit faileth.

Hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust.

Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.” KJV.

Whatever it is you may be going through, whatever your problem may be, don’t panic.

Instead, ask the Lord to help you “know the way wherein (you) should walk.”

He loves you and He is ever with you.
 

I am Oluwaferanmi,

And you are loved by God❤.

Edited by Daniela Obike.

This post is dedicated to my sister, Priscilla; my best girl, Phoebe-Deborah, and my friend, Daniela. Thank you so much. I love you. Really.❤

Song recommendation: “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns / Natalie Grant.

If you haven’t already, check out my recent posts:

Got Questions? Ask Awayyy!

Agnes4 Comments

I promise I didn’t forget about you.

I didn’t intend to just leave you but then my brain said, “Let’s take a break, Agnes” and I yielded.

(Who was I not to?)

Hence, the mini-hiatus.

But enough about me.

How are you holding up? Hope July’s been great so far?

Alright, I bring you good news.

Drum roll please…
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I’ll be hosting my first question and answer on this blog!!!!!

I’m so excited. Are you?

Okay, here’s the real deal:

You get the opportunity to ask any question about my blog or myself.

Is there anything you’re curious about or you’d like to know?

Is there anything you’d want my opinion on?

Want to know my favourite TV shows or artist?

Or even my worst nightmares…

Maybe I have a partner… or maybe I don’t.

You can only find out if you ask.

So, here’s your chance.

Send in your questions.

I promise to answer them all in the best way I possibly can.

Please don’t hassle me with naughty questions,

Or about the chores I hate.

(Yep, I still don’t like to do them dishes.😂)

I’ll post the answers here.

But if you want privacy, send me a message and let me know.

To make this easier, here’s a link to ask your question anonymously (I won’t know who asked ’em): 

https://gdpd.xyz/hagne

Better still, you can leave your questions in the comment section or just drop them through DM.

Your options are limitless:

Either you use the link

Or comment section

Or direct message.

I sure can’t wait to get your questions.

Oh, and don’t be so formal about it—

You can always express yourself according to your personality as God’s child.

Don’t forget to keep fighting forward and don’t take no for an answer k?

I am Oluwaferanmi, 

And you are loved by God.

Thank youuuuu.

Edited by: Daniela Obike.

6 Ways to Overcome Lack of Motivation.

Agnes24 Comments

Everyone struggles with motivation issues at one point or the other. Whether you are having a hard time finding the motivation to do your laundry or work on a business pitch.

Thing is, we all get into slumps.

It is how we choose to deal with it that matters, however.

In this article are 6 ways to help you get back on track.

Now let’s get to the gist of it.

1. Remind yourself why you started.

Whenever you find yourself lacking the motivation to do a task, the best trick is to remind yourself why you started or why you want to start. 

 It’s quite simple.

Just honestly fill in these gaps:

– I want to do this job because…

 – I started doing this because…

Did you find a reason? Yeah! That’s enough motivation to keep going.

Pause!

Go back and fill those gaps to find your ‘why’ before reading the next one.

Done?

Good. 

The next one:

2. Manage your to-do list.

I’ve always been honest with you, so as now. 

To-do lists are good; they keep you on track. But having a long to-do list will leave you feeling pressured and unmotivated. 

You’ll agree that it’s quite tough to feel motivated when chores on your to-do list are overwhelming, right?

How then do you solve this?

Take a look at your to-do list and determine if it’s too long. If so, get rid of tasks that are not too essential. 

You might even want to move some tasks to another day and that’s fine.

Move the most important things on the list to the top, and get started with one shot at it.

As a result, you might start to feel more motivated to get to work.

3. Reward yourself when you complete tasks.

Who else loves Cola? Gather here for a selfie.

I buy myself Cola whenever I finish a job or I steal one from my Mama’s freezer.

Right, what was I saying?

Yeah, reward yourself for working. Meaning, treat yourself to a small reward for your hard work. You might find that focusing on the small rewards keep you motivated to do the chore.

Experiment with a few different strategies until you find one that works for you.

Just make sure your reward is not sabotaging your efforts. We don’t want to decrease the motivation in the long term, right?

4. Find it from others.

Sometimes it’s hard to get motivated and you need that jumpstart from others. Getting inspired by others can be in form of podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagram posts, and Tweets. You can also absorb motivation from your loved ones, your favorite Instagram accounts, or TV shows.

I’ve found that doing this motivates and inspires me to work harder and smarter, and it can do the same for you.

5. Pair a dreaded task with something you enjoy.

Doing the dishes is every last child’s greatest pain and it’s a task I dread doing. But I’ve found listening to my favorite music a perfect way to walk through that task.

Here are some other tricks I use for tasks I dread:

– Whenever I have to run errands, I go with a friend.  

 – I procrastinate a lot (nahhh, I’m not proud of it.) and whenever I find myself doing that, I read —just  to make the time being wasted productive, and to find the needed motivation.

  – I dread cooking but listening to audiobooks makes it enjoyable.

Boost your mood by adding a little fun to something you are not motivated to do. You might even find yourself looking forward to doing the task since it’s been paired with something fun.

It can work for you too. Pair a task you dread, or one you know you might procrastinate doing, with something you enjoy and feel the magic.

6. Stay optimistic.

When you are struggling with motivation, you will likely find many reasons to not take any action.

You might think: “It’ll not turn out well” or “It’ll be too hard” or “Someone else might be better.” These types of thoughts will leave you in the same spot.

Stay optimistic instead. Try arguing the opposite. Forget the “what if it doesn’t?” and focus on the “what if it does?” 

When you think you might fail, argue all the reasons why you might succeed.

Developing a balanced outlook will make you more motivated to try.

There are other ways to overcome lack of motivation too, such as:

– Surrounding yourself with people with similar goals.

– Going on a walk with nature.

– Making your tasks “habits”.

– Practicing self-care by being kind and compassionate to yourself.

– Working with an accountability partner.

– Visualize yourself completing the task.

Each way may not work for you, but try to find at least one that you can start practicing.

But then, no be me go tell you wetin you go do.

Because forget motivation, let’s face it,

 We all just want to sleep.

Now imagine after reading all these, you still don’t leave me a comment…

Edited by Daniela Obike.

No Topic. Just Thoughts.

Agnes7 Comments

An Indian movie I could remember watching as a little kid was “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani” (Prem’s Amazing Love Story).

The scene where Prem and Jenny wished on a shooting star made this movie so dear to me then.

I so much loved the idea of a shooting star after watching that movie, that I would go out almost every night when the stars are out, desperately looking for a shooting star to wish on.

Imagine my shock when I eventually got to know that a shooting star is just a meteor and not a star. 

Now you would say, “What’s the point in all of that? It’s not like my wish will come true. All a shooting star offers is fickle hope.” 

I thought that too.

But what’s so powerful about shooting stars? 

Yes, in theory, you’re not going to get what you wished for, but the ability to hope for something in return for asking— even when you know it most mostly won’t come true,— is amazing.

You may be wondering, “Why would anyone still do that if they knew nothing would happen anyway?”

It’s stupid, right?

But I love this kind of stupid.

Here’s why:

A shooting star is like God, (even though God is nothing like a shooting star.) 

We send our prayers and requests to God even if we don’t know whether He’ll bring them to pass, yet we still have faith that He will. 

We still have hope that no matter what we’ve been asking for— or no matter how many times we didn’t get it—, we will still go back to Him the next time.

Even more certain are we that we’ll get what we asked for if we keep at it time and time again, until it finally manifests.

In a sense, the shooting star is symbolic of the box we put God in; the wishes we make are symbolic of our prayers and requests that we make known to God.

A lot of us don’t take wishes seriously because we have done that many times without positive results. So when we are asked to make a wish, we become skeptical. And since things aren’t changing and our wishes aren’t coming true, we stop wishing.

Thereafter, we halfheartedly indulge in wishes because we don’t want to wish for something and be let down when it doesn’t come true.

So with God, when we pray and still don’t get what we asked for, it makes us feel as though our prayers are falling on deaf ears.

We begin to doubt God; we begin to stop looking at Him as the God who can do exceedingly abundantly far above anything we ask or think, and then we lose faith.

We start to look at God as a shooting star, a box where our prayers go, unanswered.

But it’s not true!

God hears every prayer, every word we say or think. You may not always get an answer to your prayer the way you want it or when you want it, but you will. Even if what you asked for isn’t for you, He has something bigger. 

We have to stop trying to rush Him or tell Him what to do. It’s that His will be done, not ours . Everything is in His timing. 

He’s not a place where our hopes and dreams go to die, He is the one that brings them to pass in His timing and in His way.

Never stop seeing the beauty in prayer. With God, He is the one who hears our every word, moves the mountains, and parts the sea just to see them come true. 

If you can’t see the beauty in that, the hope that is there, then how can you go boldly to God asking for something and expect to receive it?

Go ahead, say a prayer; and this time when you do, don’t hold back. Believe that you will have whatever it is you’ve been hoping for and be content in the fact that it will happen— even if it doesn’t.

That’s faith. The hope that triumphs over every situation.

Desperately hand over to God everything you’ve been wanting to happen, and let whatever war you’ve got raging in that mind of yours stop.

Now, go ahead and say a prayer.

This time, try with faith.

I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

PS: If you have a suitable title for this post, I’d love to see it in the comment section.🤝

If you haven’t already, check out my other latest posts:

Blogger Session with Jerry.

Agnes15 Comments

It’s a new month and I’m here with a new thing!

But before that,

Welcome to June, fam – your month of plenty.

Alright, alright.

Let’s get this started!

So I had an interview with a blogger friend over the weekend, and trust me to bring you all the gist. 

He is a wonderful blogger and you can check out his blog by clicking this link: jerryshots.wordpress.com

Now, sit back and enjoy…

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Jeremiah Ayodele and I am 17 years old. I am the second child, and I have two other siblings; one older, one younger.

I am a prospective lawyer and a photographer(Mobile and Dslr). 

And, I am also a Christian.

Tell us, what topics do you write about the most?

I write about Christian content, all the time.

Okay, interesting. 

You know how everything has a story behind it, gist us.

How and when did you start up your blog?

The story behind my blog… 

It is very funny that the person interviewing me is actually responsible for the startup of this blog. 

Sometime last year— around August,— I sought advice from you, Agnes, on how to make money through Photography,
And you told me to set up a photoblog on WordPress. 

I did that, also did the customization, and got the site ready. 

In fact, I was already preparing my first photoblog when something happened. 

I fell into a particular sin one particular night and I became very sad. I felt like expressing myself somewhere and then I remembered… I had a blog😂! 

Boom! 

I opened the WordPress app and I began to write.

After writing, it looked good and your boy decided to post it. 

The rest, they say, is history.😌

You’re joking?!

Just like that?

Bruh,

So how do you stay motivated?

I stay motivated through the help of the Holy Spirit.

I have a content bank where I store all my ideas and topics to write on beforehand.

When I want to make a post, I go to it and find the motivation.

Hmmm…

That’s actually smart, you know?

Ok, so in your language, define ‘being creative.’

‘Cause, different people have different perspectives on it.

‘Being Creative’ to me is just being yourself.
Everyone has his/her style. 

I usually say, “Be yourself with the help of the Holy Spirit and be the best at it.”

To me, it’s that simple.

Wow!

I’m pretty sure someone somewhere is already screaming, “Wisdom!” 

Tell us,  

What is your favorite piece of content you’ve created and why?

Hmm… 

You’ve got me stuck on this one.

My favorite piece😂? 

I can’t pick. I am surprised at how wonderful all my write-ups are. 

But if I was to pick though, I would recommend “In these lies our Victory.” 

I love it so much because of the way the inspiration came to me. 

We’ve all heard it from him…

His favorite piece.

You can check it out here: jerryshots.wordpress.com

Everyone had primary school crushes that made them giggle.

What bloggers or blogs do you admire and why?

Like the ones whose write-ups enlighten and still make you giggle in excitement.

As a Christian, I admire other Christian bloggers like me but there are some blogs I love reading:

The A Word, Words of Mayor, Purple Nazarene.

Other times I read Christian content on Explore.

And what do you find the most frustrating aspect of blogging?

Or better still,

What’s the mosquito that always disturbs you when it comes to blogging?

I told my friend who is a fellow blogger that “To get ideas is human, To write is divine.”

My most frustrating aspect of blogging is writing.

It’s not getting the idea, I already have a bank for it.

But you see that writing,  

That’s my mosquito.

I actually agree with you, and I’m sure most of us do, too.

The idea is easy, the writing is kinda tricky.

Against the popular notion that blogging is dead, what is something you wish more people knew about bloggers?

Bloggers are not saints or perfectionists.

Some of them go through a lot to get inspiration so it will be really nice to always appreciate them. 

Also, most times a blogger’s post is a reflection of his/her life.

Preach it, brother!

Scream it!

No one’s perfect and it’s something we should all have in mind.

Tell us,  

What have you learned from blogging so far?

I have learnt a lot. 

Learning to depend solely on God for inspiration and to never stop writing, no matter how tricky it may seem.

Ok!

Enough about your blog, tell us about you.

What do you do when you aren’t blogging?

Watching movies, taking and editing pictures, and playing games.

And if you had a message for us, what would it be?

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of creativity himself. 

Just have him and you are good to go.

Whoosh, that went great!

I thought this interview was awesome. 

What about you?

Oh, don’t forget to check out Jerry’s blog at https:/jerryshots.wordpress.com

You just might find what you need for the week there!

Thanks for reading as always.

Till next time friends.

Stay blessed!

I am Oluwaferanmi,

I am Jeremiah,

And, you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike. (Are you in need of an editor? You might want to chat me up for Daniela’s details. She gives the best service!)

25 Quotes From Francine Rivers’ The Masterpiece.

Agnes3 Comments

Hey you, how are you holding up?

I brought you some highlights from my favorite read in 2021,

And it’s none other than the fiction, The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers.

Francine gives life to the story of Roman (the main character) and there were a lot of things I learnt from Roman and Grace’s story.

I figured you’d need a couple of them so, I narrowed them down to just 25, and that’s why we’re having this post.

Of course, this is not a review so I won’t be sharing the book’s summary and my overview. But if you however want a review, kindly leave a comment.

That being said, here you go:

1. Sometimes what looks like a gift is a gift.

2. Funny thing about cancer: it reminded me I’m mortal, so it doesn’t make sense to put off the things I want to do.

3. The way a man uses language makes a difference where he can end up; gutter talk keeps one in the gutter.

4. I just want to see the big picture and know where we are going, and how we are going to get there.

5. Every one’s sunset is different.

6. Faith is just the beginning of a long difficult journey.

7. It’s not easy to go through life without love. It’s lonely. It’s painful.

8. Though he kept getting better and better, yet he still couldn’t come close to his real potential. If he doesn’t let go of his past, then he never will.

9. Just because it’s the only place you’ve ever been doesn’t mean it’s the best place for you.

10. I don’t have answers: I have faith.

11. Be strong and courageous, and for once in your life, come out of the shadows.

12. Little boys want their toys, honey.

13. All his strength hadn’t been enough to break free, but one soft word from Christ, and he was alive again.

14. You just need to remember who you are and who’s on your side. God’s going to take care of you; just stick with Him.

15. God nudges people, most people just don’t pay attention.

16. “Jesus came to set you free, Roman, not remind you constantly of where you missed the mark; we’re saved by grace…”

This was literally me screaming this to Roman in my head.

17. The longer you stay away, the more excuses keep you away.

18. The life of any man or woman rests in the palm of His– Jesus’– scarred hand.

19. Most students remember the upper-class teachers in high school and forget all about the ones they had in their first few years: the unsung heroes who teach the basics.

20. Don’t hide away and punish yourself for the rest of your life., it’s no way to live.

21. “Who gets married these days without trying each other on?”

“Trying each other on? You mean like a change of clothes?”

You want a relationship that lasts? You commit.

 You want to play house and screw around? Go back to the club and find another one-night stand.

22. If I’d brought you up to know your worth, you might not have sold yourself short.

Sometimes, women love too much and lose themselves completely.

23. I need to be sure, Lord. I know what I want, but there are plenty of days when I still don’t know what’s right.

24. Life can be pretty unbearable without something to believe in.

25. Grace swore she would never stray alone: 

“Hold me close, Lord, never let me go,” she said.

Alone, she knew she’d only drown and wash up on a sandy shore.

The Masterpiece is one of the novels that influenced my spiritual life. It made true this scripture:

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He had created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”                                     —Ephesians 2:10.

“Our pasts do not determine the future God has planned for us…” 

That was the greatest lesson I took from the book.  

Roman recognized himself at fifteen: angry, broken, with no family and no hope. 

I saw how God pulled Roman and Grace out of the mire and turned their lives around.

Then I realized — when God takes hold of a broken life, He turns it into an amazing masterpiece.

It’s amazing how beautiful ruins are. They are literally broken pieces that have been destroyed, defeated, and withered by time. 

Yet, people travel insane distances just to see what they look like, just to feel their jagged pieces with their hands and feet, and just to experience it for themselves.

It’s the same with people – broken vessels turned into God’s beautiful masterpiece. 

There is beauty in the art of redemption, and God remains, still, the Redeemer.

You are a masterpiece!


I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

PS: Thank you so much Caroline for sharing this wonderful book with me. I’m grateful.🥰

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

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  • Try to Save the Plant.
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Why You Shouldn’t Feel Dumb Around Others.

Agnes24 Comments

Most times all I want to do is sit and converse with my family. But sometimes, sitting with them is a punishment.

Allow me to take you through the tale of my punishment.

I’m sitting at the far end of the room. My mother is to my left and my brothers. . . well, they are everywhere. My mother and eldest brother are discussing Agriculture.

Honestly, I only know how to eat the good food; anything else and my brain says, “Please, excuse me.” 

My other two brothers are so engrossed in their football talk and I know next to nothing about that topic, so I did the only right thing— keeping my mouth busy with food.

When they have such conversations, I feel like an idiot because I have no clue what they are talking about. I have vague ideas though, but no deep details.

And therefore, I can’t add to the conversation; resulting in my brain telling me I am dumb. 

Okay, enough of the scenario, let’s get right into why I wrote this blog post to you.

The other day, I realized something as they were discussing:

I am not dumb.

It’s just that the topics they were into and discussing were not of my interest. That’s why I didn’t know anything about them. There are topics I know of that they have no clue about, so I am smart in those topics.

I was earlier cringing and making myself look small while listening in on my family’s conversation. But the moment I heard my inner wisdom, I smiled and sat up straight.

Movies. Books. Writing. Mental Health. Self-development. Psychology. Spirituality. Humanity.

I can talk about these topics for hours.

• Let me tell you why I think we should all reform our minds so that body-shaming and bullying will be reduced.

• Let me tell you about the imagery Charles Dickens brings in his book, Great Expectations.

• Let me tell you why I think scriptwriters deserve more recognition, ’cause who the hell wrote Money Heist?!’

• Let me tell you why I think it’s better to stay single than to marry for all the wrong reasons.

• And don’t even get me started on Marvel’s stuff or Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s books.

I am intelligent, and nobody can make me feel otherwise.

Hell yeah, you are intelligent too!

It’s okay not to know about a topic, but you are not dumb.

You are intelligent in the topics you find most interesting.

We all want to have meaningful conversations and we go out looking for people to have these conversations with. But what most of us get wrong is— we discuss the right topic with the wrong group.

This is why we look for like-minded people, people who will understand our language.

So next time you feel dumb around a bunch of people, remember that just because you’re not interested in their topics doesn’t make you dumb.

You, too, are intelligent in your way.

And if you are like me, whenever you feel dumb amidst a group of people, change the subject to one you are good at and make them feel dumb for some minutes too.

In the end, it’s all equal.

Stay intelligent!


I am Oluwaferanmi,  

And you are loved by God.❤

Edited by Daniela Obike.

Follow my blog and leave a comment, I’d like to know what you think, and don’t forget to like. It helps a lot!

If you haven’t already, check out my other recent posts:

  • Insights on Being 19: A Gift of Life Lessons.
    Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” and while this dictum is certainly true, self-reflection is not necessarily an easy thing to practice. We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, our mobile phones are constantly buzzing, social media is infinitely calling, and Netflix always has something new to binge on. Taking the […]
  • Try to Save the Plant.
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  • Confessions of a Nigerian Skinny Girl: I do not need your rude comments.
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  • Trust God through the storm.
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  • Got Questions? Ask Awayyy!
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